Blog

Johnson’s delusional plan is to encourage chaos so that they beg him to return. He’s the new Norma Desmond, ‘comeback? I’ve never been away’.

  • 1 Aug 2022

Well, I suppose it’s not all over for Sunak until Therese Coffey sings. Oh, don’t laugh too heartily, dear old Therese has serious form for her Karaoke appearances. The trouble is that despite being clearly the most competent candidate and best suited to be prime minister Rish...

HMS Mordaunt heading full steam ahead for the iceberg with Truss hilariously raiding Thatcher’s wardrobe. We deserve better than this

  • 17 Jul 2022

I have never quite understood the attraction of Penny Mordaunt to party members & MPs. Well, in the last few days it has taken a knock. The omnipresent Lord Frost put his hobnail in, as did Lord Moylan, perhaps not always the sanest of our legislators. That was all about c...

HMS Mordaunt has been launched but the smart money is on Kemi Badenoch who dreads naught

  • 13 Jul 2022

Predicting Conservative leadership elections is neither an art nor a science. At best it’s guesswork based on who has a grudge, who wants a job and who wants to be on the winning side. Mostly all three. But let’s have a think for a moment what the winning side should be. The o...

This old fox with blood and feathers round his mouth & claims to be a vegan should be evicted from the hen house immediately

  • 8 Jul 2022

So the old fox still lives in the hen house despite a promise to turn vegan for a couple of months. The Daily Mail in truly Daily Mash style accuses narcissistic MPs of getting rid of the Conservatives’ ‘greatest electoral asset’. The front page is a joy, ‘what have they done?...

For the first time in his life Boris is facing electile dysfunction & 211 of the blue chappies won’t raise his game

  • 7 Jun 2022

For the first time in his life Boris Johnson is suffering from a severe case of electile dysfunction. And two hundred and eleven of the blue chappies won’t save him from the disappointment of not being able to raise his game.   The poor fellow puts the dick into predicta...

The frat house culture at Number 10 is not a disgrace it is an abomination. And Johnson thinks that he has got away with it

  • 25 May 2022

The Prime minister’s performance at the despatch box today was the most shameful that it has ever been my misfortune to witness. Arrogant, cocky, oozing ersatz contrition with all the honour and sincerity of a snake oil salesman. He even had the nerve to turn the blame on Star...

Starmer’s mistake was not to realise the ruthless ability of the Tories & the press to reverse ferret

  • 11 May 2022

I am not a Labour supporter nor ever could be. But I do feel sorry for Keir Starmer. He is bright, decent and as honest as any senior politician seeking the highest office in the land is allowed to be.  He has made Labour electable by appointing a sensible and competent shadow...

The options are simple. Cold baths, chemical castration & the Complete Dick Prevention Act

  • 1 May 2022

I genuinely feel very sorry for Members of Parliament. The overwhelming majority are hard working, decent sorts who genuinely want to do the best for their constituents. Yet they have to put up with abuse on social media, the scorn of the general public, rubbish pay and are ex...

There is one reason why Johnson should be allowed to cling on to power a little longer; Liz Truss. It would be like being rescued from the Titanic by the Marie Celeste.

  • 14 Apr 2022

Despite his bombastic, venal, morally vacuous, self centred, narcissistic copper bottomed shitery where his relationship with the truth is at best adulterous, there is one very good reason that Johnson should be allowed cling to office for a little while longer. Liz Truss; the...

The criminal bar negotiated with the government in good faith. Our reward is to still be wiping the spit from our faces

  • 3 Apr 2022

I haven’t blogged for the last couple of months as there has hardly been a day when I haven’t worked for at least thirteen hours or a weekend where I have had much, if any, free time. Like most practitioners at the criminal bar I am physically and mentally exhausted.  Not enou...