Juncker is an old drunk. On power. Before breakfast. He is alienating member states and Remainers like me
- 3 May 2017
This is an election of slogans. When May duck walked her way into another factory surrounded by a kinder of blue rosetted star struck adolescents, some jaded hack remarked that she might as well wear a fur coat and sing Rule Britannia. That rather confused the penned and irri...
If the Tory campaign slogan to the middle classes is, 'Labour will kill you whilst we will merely fuck you' there could be trouble
- 22 Apr 2017
I have a deep gut feeling that this election is not going to play out the way Theresa May wants it to. ‘Hah,’ you smirk, ‘look at the opinion polls, Corbyn is toast, even the Samaritans hang up on him’. Well, maybe. I don’t for one moment think that Corbyn will win, but he wil...
Beware the words of Francis Pym in 1983, 'landslides, on the whole, do not produce successful governments'.
- 18 Apr 2017
I can’t quite work out whether May is a political genius or as mad as a box of frogs for calling a snap general election. But she certainly has courage. Despite her 20 point lead in the opinion polls over Labour this election is risky. Not that Corbyn is going to get anywhere ...
Why Michael Howard's impeccable logic made me proud to be a knuckle dragging Xenophobic little Englander
- 3 Apr 2017
I find all this fake news rather discombobulating. How can I tell what I read and see is true? Peter Hitchens and Simon Heffer demand we return to imperial measurements. Nigel Farage nearly joins the mile high club with a hard core porn star and £400 per hour hooker. Donald T...
The future may not be ginger but don't underestimate the Lib Dems
- 2 Apr 2017
The tectonic plates of British politics are not quite moving, but are beginning to wobble. Brexit bestrides the political world like a colossus and like that mighty statue is quite capable of tipping gallons of burning pitch onto ships that are foolish enough to sail between i...
Osborne has become the real leader of the opposition. The only conflict of interests will be his and May's.
- 21 Mar 2017
Who in their right mind would want to stand for election as an MP? The place is no longer any fun at all. The bars are empty and you witness the heresy of journalists sipping skinny lattes rather than downing pints of Doom Bar. I once offered one of those pasty faced children ...
Hammond the gelding Chancellor & Stugeon's bad case of premature ejockulation
- 17 Mar 2017
I am a Tory. I want them to do well. I want May and Davis to negotiate a fantastic deal with Brussels. But I am beginning to to have more faith in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny. I won’t add Andrea Leadsom as she is a fictional character. Nobody that stupid ...
The NIC omnibollocks and the firing of Hezza. 'Me Tarzan you Pain'
- 10 Mar 2017
Oh, God they are at it again. Hammond announces that he is going to raise NIC on the self employed, a clear breach of an election pledge. There is shock horror that back benchers think that this a terrible idea. There is panic at Number 10 and now talk of a review. This is the...
The Tory Taliban under Abu Rees Moggadon have declared Brexaria law and deemed Clarke Heseltine and Major nodus totus pudedendarum
- 1 Mar 2017
So the Tory Taliban under the Grand Mufti, Ayatollah Abu Rees Moggadon have officially declared Brexaria law. Speaking from his mountain retreat Moggadon, Lion of the dessert (nanny’s spotted dick is something to behold), made the following statement. “It is with great joy tha...
The hopeless Truss is merely representative of senior ministers who are barely adequate and should not be let out without carers
- 19 Feb 2017
I have just had a very troubling experience. I watched Mandy on Marr and apart from his predictable, smug, gastropodic arrogance tended to agree with him. And then was the unsettling experience of watching our esteemed Secretary of State for Justice and Lord High Chancellor, ...