You may not believe this, but every week I really do try and find  something pleasant  to write about Boris Johnson. Some little piece of empathy he has shown. Some evidence that he has read more than the executive summary of a brief. Some glimmer of leadership. To be fair he hasn’t said anything really stupid in the last few days, which is about as much as any of us can hope for. To be fair all credit to him for encouraging the success of the vaccine programme. But now he has got himself into a mire over when the second dose should be given with the BMA. A word of advice. Don’t mess with that lot. At a time when we all want to encourage everyone to get the jab don’t sow confusion into the minds of the population who sensibly trust their GPs more than their politicians. Brace yourselves for another U turn.


One little measure that would show leadership, make a difference and probably cause a few sleepless nights for Keir Starmer if you want to be political, would be to pass a law to make it a sackable offence for any employee who unreasonably refuses to be vaccinated, particularly those who have regular contact with the public. It is utterly irresponsible and downright dangerous that some care home workers are refusing. It borders on the criminally insane. Sadly, although it sends shivers down my legal spine, it will have to be retrospective. There will be a bloody great row. The unions will go ballistic and Sir Desmond Swayne and Steve Baker will have a fit of the vapours. But it has to be done.


I had to look up who is the Secretary of State for Employment. We don’t have one. It has been downgraded to a Parliamentary Under Secretary level, which is no more than work experience. And it’s filled by the horribly ambitious chicken runner, Mimms Davies. With unemployment rocketing this will have to change. It will have to have its own department once again headed by a Cabinet Minister. I would appoint Rob Halfon with Kemi Badenoch as his minister of state. Both know what they are doing. Of course, there won’t be a reshuffle in the foreseeable future (this may come back to bite me) as BJ doesn’t like confrontation. Dear God. So it will be up to the splendid and competent Therese Coffey who is in charge of DWP. A few years ago we were on the same team at the Cambridge Union debating against Andy Burnham (a really lovely guy) and Chris Smith another good fellow.  We did a deal. She would do all the serious governmenty stuff and I would take the piss out of Andy. It all worked very well, but as we all got totally plastered I can’t remember who won. But Therese, who is delightfully understated, should push this necessary change in the law.


Earlier in the week I had a very strange feeling and had to pour myself a large gin and have a lie down. I found myself feeling sorry for Priti Patel......

Well, the poor thing’s department had gone and lost 400,000 pieces of data about criminals. Bloody civil servants. She clearly hasn’t been inadvertently shouting at them and nailing their heads to coffee tables of late. But then I heard that Cressida Dick and other senior officers had been warning for months that the system was creaking and needed to be up graded. The next morning Patel was monstered by Piers Morgan (well, it’s only polite) for coming up with a clear lie that the data was retrievable, but couldn’t say where.


Then, after most people were relieved that the government had finally come to their senses about airports we saw the terminals packed to the gunnels. Not what was intended. So maybe we will have a U U turn. This time it was left to the funereal George Eustace do the rounds and defend the downright loony. Poor mournful George. He has the demeanour of a middle aged man caught in the middle of  a police raid at a massage parlour. This time he was monstered by Susannah Reid and Ben Shepherd.


And I haven’t touched on the fisherfolk, cheese exporters (eat your heart out Truss) and hauliers who are going bankrupt over the intransigence and red tape caused by our leaving the EU. Maybe next week I will be able to report on the successes and opportunities that the government is giving exporters. Actually I would really like to. At the moment Tory backbenchers are more exercised over that commie false President Biden snubbing our great nation by removing the bust of Churchill from the Oval Office.


Get a life guys.