I thought that it would relaxing to have a few weeks of not writing about Bozo. And it was. Now we have migrated from the silly season to the torrid headline season. This will go on way past the conference boreathons until we know what Brussels has to offer. And there is something for everyone. According to the SUN’s ketamine induced “story” that Ruth Davidson has set her sights on Number 10, will desert Scotland to accept a cabinet post and a peerage. A great story except that how does she run the country from the Lords? The last person to do that was the Marquess of Salisbury in 1902. Nil points.

Today’s front pages are rather hysterical about Bozo running for the leadership (yawn). But hang on a minute isn’t he great mates with the Lizard of OZ, Lynton Crosby, who won him two mayoral elections? And didn’t Madame dump on him for messing up her last general election triumph. So he’s a bitter man with scores to settle so therefore he must be running Bozo’s Chuck Chequers masterplan. Except it’s Moggadon man’s plan. So the Ergs must be talking to the Lizard to highjack the conference, stir up a rebellion, force a leadership election and install the blonde bumbler into Number 10. It’s a Brexiteer premature ejaculation party. Dress code, come in your pants. And it will be touch and go.

And let us not forget that Monsieur Fromage might stand as the Mayor of London. Wow, what a shoe in as the punters are a little more pro EU than Brussels.

So what do all these stories have in common? They are toe in the water kite flyers. They are little ruses to test public reaction. All these amuse bouches have grains of truth in them. The carpet biters desperately want a no deal crash out, Bozo or Moggadon in charge and Fromage in a position of something more influential than presenting a radio show. Oh, and the likes of me would love to see Davidson leading the Tories. But…..don’t let’s hold our breaths.

It’s not much different for Labour. All moderates are praying that Frank Field’s resignation of the Whip will be the first whiff of cordite to start the war which will get rid of Corbyn and his thugs. It won’t be because it can’t be. The left have control of all the levers of power. While it may be technically possible to oust Corbyn his selectorate worship him. And if he did bite the dust don’t let’s kid ourselves that a nice moderate would be elected. It will be one of the real nasties.

Well, it all fills the pages and keeps editors reasonably happy until the next photo of Meghan or Kate.

Painfully for me back to Bozo. I always thought that he was the copper bottomed shits shit until I saw Nick Timothy in action. What a squalid little man. He owes everything to Madame and she gave him one hundred and ten percent loyalty. All he has given her in return is more knives than Wilkinsons. And all in the back But like Bozo he has a living to make writing for that sorry excuse for a broadsheet the Daily Mailograph. What a sorry state we are in.