Just why is BT so bloody awful? We have been without a properly functioning internet for over a week. My wife works from home and I broadcast from home. An Internet that works properly is therefore fundamental. Now for the boring stuff. Eventually an engineer came to the conclusion that the problem is the home hub. We rang on Thursday and were promised that one would be ordered and would arrive in two days. Oh, and they would ring us today between 10:30 and 11am about compensation. Well they tried to contact us, but on the line purely dedicated to the Internet, so shock, horror they never got through. I have just come off the phone from some technical bod from India. He was charming and helpful. ‘Ah, you need a new home hub!!’ Get away. ’ I will order you one’. But, hang on one has been ordered and should be arriving today. ‘No record of that sir. I will speed this up. However, this is the weekend and so it it can’t be processed until Monday. Your hub will then take two to three days to arrive’.

Now, I am paying a small fortune for this crap service. Last night the BBC sent a car and a producer to take me to the Cambridge studio so I could perform on Nolan. I usually do it from home. I can survive with my IPAD on 4G ( well, it’s 3G in my village), but Ali can’t work as she is on Skype. I have a horrible, sinking feeling that I will be writing a similar piece next Saturday. I suspect that there are hundreds of cases like this and flotillas of small businesses losing money and custom. I am feeling very Munchian.